Fire

Being a girl is becoming more and more painful with time. And it’s nobody’s fault but ourselves. See! as the time goes by, we, women, come up with more painful ideas to dress up ourselves - and this is exactly as opposed to men who are coming up with more comfortable styles.

Women… Oh women! Take waxing! It’s painful. Trust me. Some “parts” are so painful that when I remove the wax-strip, I have to take a look at the area to make sure those “parts” haven’t been removed as well as the hair.

Then there is the concept of piercing (which I never get what’s beautiful about a piece of metal dangling from one’s ears). Like ear piercing, the infections, the pain, and a stupid hole in the ears were not good enough, we decided :“Wow! Let’s pierce our bellybuttons…. And then our tongues”..... "whatsh shhhould [spit spray] we do nexshht?”.

I'm not going to even talk about high heels. It doesn’t need explanation. You know, or you can guess, how comfy and lovely they are.

Now we get to the latest invention. My favorite invention of the century: Thongs (aka g-strings). What the hell was the person who made it thinking? For heaven’s sake, while men are wearing boxers, why do we have to walk around with friction in between our arses? Wearing thongs reminds me of the old days, when they had to make fire by rubbing a piece of wood in between their palms. At a party, I was seriously waiting for sparks and flames in between my buttocks. I got so agitated that I wanted to stop the stereo, go on top of a table, take off the panties, hold it high so everyone can see, and yell: “Ladies and gentlemen, what do you think this triangle-with-two-strings-attached-to-it is? What’s the use? Tell me, why why why?”. While I was thinking about this melodramatic scene, I started crying for myself. People kept asking “Lulufar, what’s wrong?”. I told them “I’m gonna catch Fire from Within soon”. They thought I was being drunk and philosophical.