XOXO

Kissing is a very delicate and sensitive matter, especially if you’re kissing someone for the first time. You’re in this semi-dark room, lit with candles. Someone you like is sitting on a couch in front of you. Nobody else is home. You have to kiss that person. You slowly approach each other, feel weird in your tummy, breathe fast, close your eyes, smell and feel each others breath, lips touches lips; and all of a sudden there’s this tongue shoved into your mouth, going back and forth, rotating, discharging copious amount of saliva right into you mouth.

Did you get my point? No? OK, dear friends, do not penetrate your tongue in someone’s mouth when you’ve just started kissing each other. It’s exactly like going in bed with someone and without any introduction start the baby-making activity.

Moreover, don’t make noises. Some people make these *Malach-Moolooch* noises while kissing, and it makes one wonder if the person is kissing or eating me alive.

Finally -this is just for males- if you get too excited and you decide to take the girl to the bed and kiss her, don’t throw her on the bed and lie down on top of her. Just imagine this: 45kg girl is thrown on bed, a 85 kg guy lies on top of her, and while she opens her mouth to gasp for air, a tongue is stuffed in her throat … not the most romantic experience. Be gentle but don’t be feminine. A sudden strong manly kiss is really nice, but just don’t rip us apart or suffocate us.