Pathway from “Cool” to “Ooshcool” (Enzyme: FNase)

When I was in school, I used to be one of the coolest kids music-wise (definitely not eyebrow and moustache-wise though). At my birthdays we were so high class that instead of dancing to Andy-Kooros, we danced (Pa-Technoed) to “Pump up the Jam” and “2Unlimited”, and I was this cool girl who kept talking about Metallica and Iron Maxiden (this is how I pronounced “Iron Maiden” due to its weird logo and my lack of Savaad).

The climax of my coolness was when I somehow managed to cry for Kurt Cobain’s death at the school’s morning recess, when everybody could see me, and while some kid was reading Qur’an in school’s microphone. The irony of it was that at that time not only I hadn’t listened to one of Nirvana’s albums completely, but also I enjoyed the mocked “Smells Like Teen Spirit” video way more than the actual one. To be exact, I couldn’t care less about his death, but being cool had its own practices.

And now, well, it’s sort of different. Not only I don’t listen to the new bands, I don’t even know their names. I just learned about Arctic Monkeys two months ago, and I just can’t listen to their music. I don’t know the difference between House and Drum n’ Bass, and I can’t listen to either of them more than 3 minutes. It’s really embarrassing when I go to a party and people start asking me “have you heard this song? What about this one? What about that one?” . They can’t believe their ears when I keep telling them No, No, No.

This is how from being cool, I’ve descended to a complete Ooshcool.