Allah-O-Akbar

O: Welcome to the land of dead.

.: Thank you.

O: So what was the last thing you did before you die?

.: Committing suicide.

O: Ooo… What kind?

.: Jumped off a cliff.

O: Was it scary:

.: No… but painful.

O: Pain? Where?

.: My foot sole. I stepped on something sharp when I was walking towards the edge.

O: Did it bleed?

.: Yeah.

O: So you actually stopped to checkout your sole bleeding before you jump?

.: … I guess I did.

O: And then you jumped and died! Boring!

.: Not really. I was dead for the last two years of my life. After I jumped I was born again.

O: ?!?!

.: You see… after I jumped, I didn’t have to worry about anything anymore. All my responsibilities were gone. I knew I had to enjoy my jump. The little time I had. And that was all I could do. To enjoy. And there was no one to question me, or criticize me. There was no one to expect anything from me. So after a long time, it was only me, and the time I had left was only for me… you know… So I jumped. I opened my eyes, felt the wind in my hair, took a deep breath , and smiled.

O: … and then *SQUAAASH* you hit the ground…

.: No, I started going up instead of down. All the weight of life was off me. I started taking control of my flight. I speeded up and down, flew backward and forward, revolved in the air. But all of a sudden I hit something… something huge and hard.

O: You crashed into something in the air? What? A plane?

.: I didn’t know in the beginning. I was dizzy for a while. But then I looked up to see what it was. It was God.

O: No shit. You crashed into God?

.: Yeah.

O: What happened then?

.: Well, I apologized, you know. But before finishing my sentence God yelled at me “WHAT THE F&^% DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING UP HERE?”. I was trying to find the right answer when God said “I MADE THE FUCKING GRAVITY FOR YOU IDIOTS TO STICK TO THE EARTH. AND EVEN IF YOU MANAGED TO GET UP HERE , I GAVE YOU A PAIR OF DAMN EYES SO YOU LOOK WHERE THE HELL YOU’RE HEADING TO”. And before I know I was here talking to you.

O: Welcome to the land of dead.

.: Thank you.